BEAUTY DAY AND A TOOT

this past week the weather over here is excellent. So today i'm going to take care of myself.
Put on my new bikini and lay down under the sun while my little sweet gorgeous alara is enjoying herself in here little private pool...
And tonight I'm planning to visit a friend.
i have an appointment with my shrink tomorrow morning. We are going to finally start with the therapy PHEW. Gosh, those people are really making me crazy. 4 years of my life i've waited for this moment. that i would get some help. and now FINAlly i'm getting it (I HOPE IT WILL HELP)

And I got an email from Jana Holstein from the magazine Somerset Memories. Such a sweet woman. she's asking how I'm doing. HOW SWEET.
and they want to publish another layout in their awesome magazine. i need to put together a step by step instruction. YAY..

I need to start scrapping soon. Because a dutch company wants me to work for them.. and ofcourse i have my magazine work.

Scrapping helped me to get through rough times. and now I have to use it again. thank you all my sweet friends all over the world for your encouraging words.

LOVE YOU ALL...

Will take some pics today to post here...

Need to go now. the sun is WAITING ;)

HERE I AM....

First I would like you to know that ALARA is hereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.... Gosh, How did I miss my little precious girl. today we are going to swim and bbq.... Now there is only 1 heartache... my other baby dilara... but i know i will have her back next month. So I can be a mommy again to my 2 angels...

There happened a lot in my life the last few months. Someone really BROKE my heart deep.... REALLY DEEP... It's still hurting... yes, it's not easy to forget... but I will eventually.
No Pain for someone who doesn't deserve it... NEVER AGAIN...

I have a lot of empty boxes here right now... alara and I will pack our house up and move to a place where no body can find us...

I signed out from hyves.nl... because of the memories there... I'm not looking back there again... for good. now it's time to move forward... to a fresh new life with the experiences i learned this past few months.

Maybe i will have a new career... Some people asked me to teach dancing classes... SHAKE THAT ASS GIRL bwahahahaha....

love you all so much girls... and when I'm moved i will start working on my scrapbook career too... i want to have my scrapbooking back... and this time i will be using a lot of PAINT... in all the extreme ways... believe me...
investment returns
but after all of this, i gained a few good friends and i learned AGAIN how MUCH I LOVE MY KIDS... they're my WORLD... NO BODY, YES, NO BODY CAN TAKE THEM AWAY FROM ME... EVEN YOU (he knows what I'm talking about, but i dont' think he's reading this blog)

look at the BOTTOM OF THIS BLOG... you will see a male TURKISH DELIGHT...
My favorite turkish singer TARKAN..

i will keep you updated

love and peace to you all

Long time no blogging. i'm sorry for that..
there happened a lot in my life. I didn't scrap for a while now. but i will... I promise.

Every thing happens for a reason. but there are some people that are making me really nuts. I'm not going to waste my time talking about it...

i'm planning to start my life all over again... i didn't see my kids for about a month now. they are in germany with my husbands family... i want to divorce... many of you know that... i have my reasons for it... that i can't tell here...

wish me luck girls... i really need that

love you alllllllllll