PAINTING GROUP

First I would like to thank all of you for your support during my hard times (especially Corinne Delis, such a sweet woman with an GOLDEN heart)... I'm feeling better and I'm GOD thankful for it.

Yesterday i started joining a painting group. It's right around the corner but I'm afraid to go there by myself :( So my dad drove me there... And guess what... I walked back home afterwards... YEAH...

I'm going to that group again over 45 minutes... I'm going alone with my bike... EEEEKKKK... I'm scared but I know I can do it...

Oh, and I started an oilpainting of Sandra Bullock... My favorite movie star... She doesn't look like sandra bullock yet, but she will I hope LOL...

Love you all...
I will post pictures soon...

and figo is doing fine... I'm going outside with him...

the kids are gone ALL DAY... so I'm planning to scrapbook this afternoon...




BIG VIRTUAL HUG TO ALL MY ONLINE FRIENDS...

I FEEL .....

GOOD

Yes really, i feel good.
It feels like the dark clouds are dissapearing... Thank you so much corinne Delis... You changed my life.... Love you...

And guess what... We bought a puppy... Uhmmm he is 10 weeks old but big... Not a small doggy LOL. Sorry, i don't have a picture to share yet. but his name is...

FIGO....

It's the name of our first dog... we needed to give her away due to circumstances... We miss still miss her everyday...

Tomorrow i'm going to scrapbook. I am going to work on that valentine project and try to create a layout. Step by step I'm coming into scrapping again. but i don't want to rush anything.

thank you all sooooo much
love you all

IT'S 2:38 AM

I'm sorry... I can't tell you that i am feeling good these past days since my last post. Every morning I get up with a very painfull feeling. I called the shrink and went there to talk about it on friday 1 pm. they told me that i need to go through this. it's all because of the new medication bla bla bla.

THEY MESSED ME UP... they changed 4 anti-depressiva in 8 weeks time... UNBELIEVABLE... Ofcourse my body is giving up... But I'm NOT.
They want to change my medication again... NO... this far and NOT further... Over my dead body... I DON'T WANT THEM TO MESS ME UP AGAIN... once these medication start to work (in a couple of weeks) I can't handle it to go all through this again. NO WAY...

Today i visited Ali Edwards blog. She made the cutest valentine album. So eventhough i'm feeling like dying inside i started 1 too. It will take me ages to finish it but at least i got something to do.

please pray for me girls. pray that these bad feelings will go away...SOON...

I found my word for 2008 (inspired by Ali Edwards): HOPE....
Hope for a better life... Hope for HEALTH and HAPPINESS...
HOPE that has left me. and I want it back...

i'm trying really hard... believe me... I'm fighting really hard to beat this... And I won't give up... for now...

IT'S 3:36 AM

I slept from 7 pm till now. I just couldn't hold it anymore. Every day I'm feeling a tiny bit better and that's a huge thing. I'm thinking about what's important in my life. My kids... My kids are my everything. I had times when I thought i couldn't handle them... Times that they both cried and i was crying with them. Now it's like music to my ears. hearing them crying, laughing, talking in their own way. God, that's the most beautiful sound in the world.
I always wanted to have a clean and tidy house. So I got mad every time my girls messed it up. Now I don't care anymore. Make a mess my babies... You are what counts... Your happiness, OUR happiness is what counts.
My husband... I got frustrated every time he played a game on the computer. But I didn't realise how close he was to us... Everytime something happened or we wanted his attention HE GAVE IT TO US... NOW i don't care anymore. I couldn't ask for a better husband. If he likes to play. play my baby... Your happiness is my happiness.

When your health turns upside down. You will realise what's important and what NOT. You will realise how we take every day for granded... NO NO NO NO... Every day is a gift that GOD is giving to us. Look around you... And look at the things that you forgot. Did you call your mother/father today? Did you hugged your babies and told them how much you love them? Did you make your husband happy by just 1 kiss?? that's what mathers my friends.... that's the main thing we live for but we forget in our busy lives.

Now i'm going to kiss my sleeping babies and my hubby. Go kiss yours... Tell them how important they are before it's too late...

Sorry, i'm a bit emotional... but i'm a person that believes that everything happens for a reason... and what happened to me has opened my eyes.

Family and friends are what mathers... Go, do something to make them happy. and enjoy their happiness... Like I said... their happiness is OUR happiness...

good night my friends.... I LOVE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU. NEVER FORGET THAT..... YOU CAN NEVER IMAGINE HOW HAPPY YOU ARE MAKING ME WITH YOUR COMMENTS, EMAILS AND CALLS. I FEEL LOVED.