zondag, februari 03, 2008

IT'S 2:38 AM

I'm sorry... I can't tell you that i am feeling good these past days since my last post. Every morning I get up with a very painfull feeling. I called the shrink and went there to talk about it on friday 1 pm. they told me that i need to go through this. it's all because of the new medication bla bla bla.

THEY MESSED ME UP... they changed 4 anti-depressiva in 8 weeks time... UNBELIEVABLE... Ofcourse my body is giving up... But I'm NOT.
They want to change my medication again... NO... this far and NOT further... Over my dead body... I DON'T WANT THEM TO MESS ME UP AGAIN... once these medication start to work (in a couple of weeks) I can't handle it to go all through this again. NO WAY...

Today i visited Ali Edwards blog. She made the cutest valentine album. So eventhough i'm feeling like dying inside i started 1 too. It will take me ages to finish it but at least i got something to do.

please pray for me girls. pray that these bad feelings will go away...SOON...

I found my word for 2008 (inspired by Ali Edwards): HOPE....
Hope for a better life... Hope for HEALTH and HAPPINESS...
HOPE that has left me. and I want it back...

i'm trying really hard... believe me... I'm fighting really hard to beat this... And I won't give up... for now...

15 opmerkingen:

Anoniem zei

Never give up sweetie, you know I believe in you that you can fight this. Just keep thinking tomorrow will be a better day when things get rough, hold on to the positive. I am with you that they can not change medications over and over again. I will give you another call this week to talk a bit longer if that is OK?


Sharmaine zei

Hey Emine! Great word! I have hope for you too! Hoping the weekend is srength building, hoping that the new week is full of promise and hoping that you find something to smile at.
Hugs to you :)

Esther zei

O sweetie, just hang in there. Soon there will be a sunbeam that picks you up!!
Love, es

Iris zei

Hey meid, ik vind het verschrikkelijk te lezen dat het zo slecht met je gaat! Je verhaal over medicijnen is erg herkenbaar. Een vriendin van mij krijgt ook steeds wat anders....
zet even door. Ik hoop dat je medicijnen snel aanslaan en het gewenste resultaat hebben!
Probeer in de tussentijd te scrappen. Ik hoop dat je je gedachten en gevoelens even opzij kunt zetten....

Marlies zei

Oh this cannot be right, them changing your medication so often in a short period of time! You are right, time to stop messing around and stick to 1 cure. Every drug will have its side effects but you have to try them for a longer period to find out if it works.

Sorry to hear these words of desperation, I continue to think of you and please don't feel like you should be 'healthy' again in a few days time. It is not about 'het knopje omdraaien', it is NOT about happy thoughts, you can't THINK yourself cured without help or within days. So don't despair. Hope you are able to sleep some!


Je@net zei

And HOPE is a great word!!
Keep on going girl! You can do it!!

Lisamariemlt zei

hey there
girlie girl
life is full of ups and downs
you will not feel better over night
things take time
healing is a slow process
just take all the time you need
good for you for selecting that word=hope has so much to go with it
my word is cherish
it was my word last year and is again this year
I have been through alot this past two years
and I know that life is going to just keep going on
I either have to have the strenght to move with it or it will leave me behind
you will be able to get on too
just keep being you


lieve Emine, niet opgeven hoor...ik vind het zo erg om te lezen dat het zo slecht met je gaat meid....ik denk aan je...hoop dat de medicijnen snel aanslaan...en dat het snel weer beter met je gaat...liefs Marije.

M@risk@ zei

I think you have just choosen the right word. Everyday is a new day. Look at your little girls, they are your world. Changing your medication isn't OK.

Marjolein zei

Hang in there Emine, don't let them get you.... you can do it, it will take some time, but everything is going to be alright again! Good thing you picked up a project, might keep your mind of of things!

Hope... great word! I'll keep you in my thoughts!

Lilian Schneider zei

Hi girly, those anti-depressives can make you feel sooooo bad, especially in the first weeks. But I hope in a few weeks they will turn out to be working okay. Don't give up 'till you found the right ones and listen to your own body and mind to decide which ones work best for you.
I think scrapping again will do you lots of good.
Lots of hugs,

jo zei

Hi Emine! Hang in there. Hope is a powerful and strong word - good choice. And I hope things will get better for you soon soon. *hugs*

Tammy zei

I just wanted to let you know that I have been on a couple of different anti-depressent medications, and regardless of which one they do choose to put you on it will take 4-6 weeks for your body to get used to that medication and for you to feel yourself, some of them do have side effects that won't go away, like dry mouth, but usually, its not something that will hurt or disable you in the long run. When I was fighting depression after losing 2 babies I read a book about depression called "Happiness is a Choice", and happiness truly is a choice, its not something that is going to just pop up and hit you in the head, its something that you must choose to do. This book is written by 2 Doctors that explain every aspect of depression and teach you how to overcome your depression. It is a brilliant book, I read it a few times. I have not suffered with depression in over 10 years now. I hope I spell these names right, but I believe the 2 Doctors that wrote these books are called "Dr Minrith and Dr Meyers"...
May I suggest one more thing? When you're suffering from Depression its often hard to see outside of yourself, you focus so much on yourself that you can't see anything else, so I suggest you find something to do that makes you see other people, perhaps other people that have it a lot worse than you do, focus on someone else, not "something" like scrapbooking, but someone... spend time with people, be with people, do not shelter yourself. I hope I didn't upset you with any of this, but I speak from painful experience.

Littleone zei

I have been in the process of moving but you have been in my prayers. I hope that you can get on the right meds and feel better soon. I miss seeing your layouts and reading your blog updates. Thinking about you and praying that things get better soon.

a.l. clark zei

I will pray for you to find that "Hope" you are looking for.