zondag, januari 27, 2008

I came home on friday and I'm NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT going back again.
they (the stupid doctor) is changing my medication AGAIN.... i changed 4 medication in 7 weeks time... what the heck....
they dropped all the medication I took to get through all of this disaster in 1 day... i suffered severe anxiety attacks because of it... but you know what's the worst part...

THURSDAY evening i got an epileptic attack... I had a total black out. I can't remember a thing of what happened. but they told me that I yelled and fell on the floor. I was shaking, there was bubbles coming out of my mouth. I bit on my tonque. (after 4 days I still don't have any feelings on my tonque)... i was gone for 15 minutes they say....

no, i didn't get any visit of a doctor or what so ever. my left arm is purple/black because of that incident.

so i decided that I will never go back there anymore. i want to be with my kids.
i'm in pain, my soul hearts... i miss my family, i miss scrapbooking, i miss being ME again. i'm not letting them destroy ME...

when I called them that I wasn't feeling well. they answered: What do you want from us, come there and hold your hand??????

gosh, i'm still reallly upset about this answer.

they let me suffer. and I suffered. my body can't take this at all... they don't pay attention to me at all... so it's better to be home then there right?

i'm going to fight here, with my children. with the people who really care about me....

THEY FUCKED ME UP... now i can't walk because I'm soooo dizzy... and that's all because of them....

please pray for me.... i really need it. i feel soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo alone...

26 opmerkingen:

Marlies zei

Saw your post on SIStv.

Oh Emine I really hoped they'd be able to help you... this sounds all too familiar, mental health care really sucks sometimes.

You are so right not going there again, try to find some help from your home and keep fighting girl!!


Betinha zei

oh, God, Emine! I hope you get better now with your family. We miss you scrapping!! Come back soon!!!

Trejo Family zei

Oh I am so sorry you had to deal with that. That is horrible. I am glad you are home now. I would like to talk to you. Will you email me your phone number. I will call you scrapbooksbyheidi@yahoo.com


www.alifeandartinprogress.blogspot.com zei

Saying a prayer for you right now...I generally do not like to post any judgements but I feel pretty strongly about this...I don't know the entire situation but no one should have given you such an ignorant answer like that when you called them...especially the suppesedly-called-experts!!! I truly hope you will get better...lots of hugs!!!

Anoniem zei

you are not alone, remember that always girl! Like I told you you are a STRONG WOMAN, you truly are and you can do this! I am here if you need me.


eef zei


"I do not ask to walk smooth paths nor bare an easy load, i pray for strength and fortitude to climb the rock strewn road. Give me such courage I can scale the hardest peaks alone and turn every stumbling block into a stepping stone."

Anart Island Studio zei

OMG!!! Emine that sound awful!!! I so much wish I could hold you and help you!!!! I know it will be hard for you either way and you will have to figure our what will be best for you, but hey its your live and if YOU don't have the right to decide what you want for your live, who then???? I know there are tones of people who adore you and who are your friends!!! I wish I could help you not to feel so alone.....

jakey zei

aw... emine.... i'm so sorry everything's so bad for you. hang in there girly... hang in and get well for you, and the people who love you.

healing hugs
jake x

Sharmaine zei

Oh Emine!!! I soooo wish I was there to give you a huge hug and to give you some of the strength that you need right now!
You keep your head up, mate, and know that you can get through this and that you are loved. Hold tight to the things that matter.

michelle zei

omg. i hope you are okay and I am praying that you get through this.

Anoniem zei

Emine!! I can't believe it. I'm so sorry for all that you been going through. I'm sending you hugs and kisses from California. Get better real soon! I will be praying for you.


*fauve* zei

Sjeez girl,that doesn't sound good at all!I thought those people were there to help you,so how can they treat you like that?And that answer true the tellie is unacceptable!I hope you feel better soon girl,and if you need anything...Just let me know,k??

laf ya xxx

Lisamariemlt zei

Oh Emine
You are NOT alone
I too have been through so much
but on my own I have come out ahead
with my family
and Taylor
you will too
be strong
be independent
and you will make it
if you need to talk send me your email
although we are miles apart
know I am thinking about you
have been
I'm glad you are home
hate what you have been through
but know you can make it

M@risk@ zei

Sorry to hear this Emine, but reading all this I think it's the best place to be. People around you will take care of you. Lots of hugs and fight for it girl.

Manu ;-) zei

my prayers are for you! we miss you! try to win this battle with your family love... hugs!

Ladybastard zei

Hi! I'm Roberta...I was around on the net and i found your blog. I read your things and i thought to stop and say hi!
I don't know you but i really hope you'll be better soon!!!
A big kiss, be strong

Deanna zei

oh, Emine. I am so sorry to hear of what happened. When you go somewhere to get better and something like this happens, it's very disheartening.

We're still pulling for you! you can make it and we're here for you if you ever need anything!

take care!

Traci Keriazakos zei

YOu are not alone. Lots of people are sending you positive thoughts and prayers. Keep doing everything you can to get better. I am sorry this happened to you.

Nicole Hinrichs zei

Hey Emine,
Rot om te horen maar je goed recht om boos te zijn en waarschijnlijk ben je zeker beter af met de mensen rond om je die echt van je houden. Ik denk ook dat je sterk genoeg bent om het zelf een plaatsje te kunnen geven. We hebben je in ieder geval gemist. Remember you are the one who can change your world. :) hang in there girl, life is worth living.
luv and hugs
nicole hinrichs

Anoniem zei

Lieve Emine

Meisje, je bent veel sterker dan jezelf denkt, je kunt het, gebruik de hulp die je nodig hebt en die je geboden wordt, je gevoel geeft aan welke hulp jij het best kunt gebruiken, heel veel sterkte, en heb je behoeft aan weer een berichtje uit te wisselen, je weet me vast nog wel te vinden, het eerste wijze besluit heb je al genomen, groetjes Els(ie)

Ingrid zei

Hey girl, I am so sorry to hear about what you have been going through. I truly hope you feel much better being around with your family.

Take care

Lori zei

I will continue praying for you Emine!!! Stay strong girl!!! You can do this!!!!

micayla zei

Oh Emine, I really really feel for you girl!
You keep fighting girl, be strong and remember we are all here for you.
Hugs, kisses and prayers for you and your family!
Micayla xxx

Kim Archer zei

HI Emine
Hang in there...I am so sorry you have had to experience such lack of care for your anxiety. I think you are in the best place for now with your family as you need to be surrounded by support and love. I hope you are able to get some constructive help very soon so you can get onto that path of wellness as soon as possible.

Tamara Nicole zei

My prayers are with you dear, I hope things get better for you. You are strong and can do this. We're here for you!!!

socialbutterfly zei

emine!! i sooo hope that you will find the right way for you and your family!! thinking of you!!